kids_sharing_room_mainOur two children, a boy who is three and a girl who is four, share a room and I'm wondering if there's an age when they should each have their own room? I often find them in the same bed in the morning. Is this a problem? Should children have their own space/room? 

Kids often share a room, mostly out of necessity, the house isn’t big enough for everyone to have their own room – just like our parents or grandparents did.  Sometimes they share because they like the company and feel reassured because there is someone else in the room.

Is it a problem though?  No, not really.  It certainly has a couple of difficulties, one being that when they are upset and need some space, there space already has another person there.  So teaching them to go to their room, relax, unwind, read a book, listen to some music, lie quietly on their bed and when they feel better to come back out to the busy family area can be a problem.  When they have separate rooms, this is a non issue.  Certainly separate is easier if they both are tired and cranky and you separate them by getting them both to relax on their beds or in their rooms.

Being in the same bed isn’t a problem either unless it is a problem to the child whose bed the other climbs into.  If they are co-sleeping, by that I mean if one jumps into the others bed during the night for company this can be a problem if they are not sleeping well, so if one disturbs the others sleep.  If not, then they should be fine.  Some siblings jump into one bed and the other isn’t happy about it.  If that is happening and you have explained, talked etc and the child just doesn’t change their behaviour then a separate room is usually the solution.

Another issue that can certainly be a problem is if one is stopping the other from going to sleep at night, if this is the case then they need separate rooms to fall asleep in and can then be moved.  Or if it happens in the morning, one wakes the other up really early then this is definitely a problem.

One other issue that comes up with siblings sharing a room and more so than not, if one is a boy and one is a girl, becomes privacy and development.  At this young age of 3 and 4 years, this isn’t even a consideration.  As they get older if they continue to share you will know when the time is right to move the younger one.  The older child will start closing the door to have a shower or get changed and then it’s time to make the move.



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