The Terrible Two’s is a much-quoted line for many parents. I clearly remember reading a book named ‘Toddler Taming many years ago. After reading this book one could quite clearly get the message that your cute little toddler suddenly became a wild animal. Well I’m sure that’s just how some parents would describe the tantrums of a two year old.
The Terrible Twos really is a combination of tantrums, the ability of your toddler to say ‘no’ and see what you the parent will do about this, and the realization that ‘hey I’m my own person not just an extension of my mum’. Combine all these with not enough sleep and sure enough you have the recipe for a toddler needing taming.
So just how does a parent of a two year old tame these tantrums – my best advice would be, if at home or anywhere else you can get away with it, simply step over that squealing toddler and walk away. Trying to calm, negotiate, explain or find out what is wrong with a toddler at this moment will not work. In fact it just makes the tantrum longer and more likely to be repeated. Once your toddler is calm, or calmer - this would be the time to re-enter and calmly ask them if they would like a cold drink, or to go outside or some other mundane distraction. Once you have moved on try not to go back over what has just happened.
Sometimes toddlers just can’t find the right words or are asking in an unpleasant whine which then suddenly escalates into a tantrum, if this is the case then when calm, it is okay then to ask something along the lines of ‘ you were finding it difficult to say what you wanted, let’s try again’ or ‘if you want a drink ask in a nice voice’ or ‘mummy didn’t understand what you were saying, can you point to it or show me where it is?’ You will find by rephrasing in this way your toddler will be able to feel understood and try again.
Worst case scenario – you are out and about when your toddler decides to say NO with a tantrum, if possible calmly, yes calmly, wait it out without too much interest at all. When your toddler is calm then try the above or simply repeat your initial request or just pick them up and leave. Actions are far better than words. If however you find yourself in a library or church then you need to just act quickly, which is to pick them up, and move them outside where they can continue their tantrum for as long as they wish. Once again, show no interest. Any interest shown by a parent will result in a “hmm…. Mummy’s looking and noticing me….. I’ll try this again”.
Sleep can make all the difference to the amount of tantrums; the velocity and the rationality of your toddler so ensure they are getting their 12 hours sleep every night and a good 2 hours in the middle of the day.
